A guide to healing the patriarchy within.
Women are patriarchs, too.
We don’t like other women being loud, independent and successful. We call them too much. Attention seekers. A mess. Desperate. Pathetic. But does talking down on other women really make us feel bigger? Stronger? Powerful? Or is it something that we learned to do in order to survive the times?
For thousands of years, women have been targeted by men. Accused. Abused. Punished. Killed. All this is written in our DNA. So we learned that becoming patriarchs ourselves keeps us safe. Keeps us alive. Before people suspect us of being a witch, a whore or a sinner in any other way, we better lead them to someone else. Someone non-average. The woman who's talking to her plants, the woman who doesn’t have kids, the woman who knows how to read and write, the woman who wears pants instead of skirts.
Today is different. We call ourselves feminists, listen to Lizzo and use the hashtags #bodypositivity and #smashthepatriarchy under our selfies. And yet, don't we all still catch ourselves pointing our fingers at other women? Bold women? Big women? Women who dare to be different? We talk about how inappropriate they dress, how loud they laugh, how too much or not enough they eat, date, are. Because the fear of being condemned ourselves is still in our blood, our bones, our cells.
Time for change
Let’s change that. Let’s rewrite our DNA, clear our cells from all these old wounds & fears and end this toxic cycle right here and now, once and for all. It’s actually quite simple and easy:
If we learned to turn against each other, then we can also learn to lift each other up, to respect, honor and support each other.
Here are four steps to heal the divine feminine from patriarchy within yourself and the collective. Try it and watch your frequency rise, your consciousness expand and your whole life shift.
Stop criticizing other women. Instead, if a woman triggers you, shift your focus on what you can learn from her.
For example: If you are annoyed by her loud laughter, maybe you can’t express yourself as freely as you would like to and she is here to remind you of that. If you hate her for being “bossy”, maybe you are such a people pleaser that you don’t know how to prioritize your own needs, etc.
Express your admiration for what provoked you in the first place. Her confidence, strength, passion, knowledge, boldness, nurturing energy, open sexuality, sensitive side, mother instinct, independence, calmness,...
Say it out loud. To yourself, your friends, the universe, and if you can, to the woman herself.
This is when the real magic happens.
Defend other women when others talk behind their backs. Whatever it is that they are criticizing, point out the uniqueness of that woman. Here are some examples you can say to stop a roast immediately: “This is exactly what I love about her.” "She made you all talk about her, so she must be a great inspiration.” “I don’t know her, but it certainly takes courage to do that and I love courageous women” "Oh how I love women who dare to be different!"
Do not feed a belittling social media algorithm. Clear, unfriend or mute anyone from your feed that denounces women. Teach the AI algorithm that you are interested in uplifting women’s content. Follow, like and share their art. And then watch how your whole feed turns into a nourishing, creative and motivating firework of inspiration.
If we want to smash the patriarchy, we have to start within ourselves.
Every single woman holds the power to turn hate into love. It all starts with respecting and honoring other women. Let’s live real womanhood. For our ancestors, our daughters, nieces and all the women who come after us.